I'm borderline depressed:
a. Azad told me his show has been moved to Thursday and that Father Zakaria's show has also been moved to Tuesday. I'm the only live show on Monday and no one has told me anything yet.
that kind of pushed me down
then Azad was telling me about how his prayers have healed many with cancer. i know he means well but i was already feeling inferior because of his successes and his new ministry in San Diego.
I want to say something. I even thought about suicide as I expected a depression slide. But then the peace river that's inside of me started bubbling up. I feel good now. It's a peace that I only feel when there is nothing else.
My hardest pain is jealousy I think. It's feeling like I'm less and inferior to others. I remember feeling this way when I felt so bad about Joe not being home when we lived at DAniel's home. He was out doing something ministry related or with other people he had built relations with and I was home, single alone and miserable and jealous. Then the river started flowing it bubbled and trickled and made me feel better.
I'm feeling it now as I am looking at teh possibility of the operation and what happens afterwards.
Vivien has been supportive through Fatima asking if I have supportive church around me.
I was going to send 400 dollars to Najat. Instead I sent 500 and I feel much better about it
no response from her yet
Mom called to see how I am
a. Azad told me his show has been moved to Thursday and that Father Zakaria's show has also been moved to Tuesday. I'm the only live show on Monday and no one has told me anything yet.
that kind of pushed me down
then Azad was telling me about how his prayers have healed many with cancer. i know he means well but i was already feeling inferior because of his successes and his new ministry in San Diego.
I want to say something. I even thought about suicide as I expected a depression slide. But then the peace river that's inside of me started bubbling up. I feel good now. It's a peace that I only feel when there is nothing else.
My hardest pain is jealousy I think. It's feeling like I'm less and inferior to others. I remember feeling this way when I felt so bad about Joe not being home when we lived at DAniel's home. He was out doing something ministry related or with other people he had built relations with and I was home, single alone and miserable and jealous. Then the river started flowing it bubbled and trickled and made me feel better.
I'm feeling it now as I am looking at teh possibility of the operation and what happens afterwards.
Vivien has been supportive through Fatima asking if I have supportive church around me.
I was going to send 400 dollars to Najat. Instead I sent 500 and I feel much better about it
no response from her yet
Mom called to see how I am
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