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First Tuesday in December

I got up at 530 a.m. today as I have been getting up early everyday lately. Not so much discipline as sleeplessness and stress

Went to Men's meeting yesterday. Shook hands with Gene. I think he's the leader

the preacher was Pastor Tom. He is very happy preaching. Very annointed pro Hagin and it was really good

 I sat at the table where he sat. And he talked and another guy talked and talked about his health. I shared about my recent scare

Saturday I went to Mona's funeral. I sat by FAyez and his wife and sister, a few chairs between us. I saw Elaine and Ed sitting across the aisle. I later saw Pastor Rimon and his wife. They were very concerned for my health and supportive.

I went to the burial and saw Pastor Emil. I also saw Joe and Azad and lots of folks. Very nice but some didn't seem particularly happy to see me.

When I got back to car, I started feeling a little sick from hunger and standing around so much

I went back to AlFady and slept for two hours in front of the closed studio then went and ate at Hot off the Grill then  Iwent to the creation meeting but the movie didn't work.


I'm feeling stressed. Jealous of successes of Azad in San Deigo and possibly al Karma
a little upset that s always eats my food and the loneliness i'm feeling being home so much.

stress over dad. Najat doesn't talk to me anymore after I heard Ihmaydi going back for good to the iblad

no one talking to me except FAtima who gets messages from Najwa who doesn't talk to me

her kids do but its been a while

I am going to get my coffee now..........


Got it.

Im concerned about my heart. My prayer life isn't what it should be. I don't want to fill my heart with so many things including Music and islamic teachings for my program. I listen tothe Bible all the time but my prayer life is deficient. I need to to do better. I admire Shadi's prayer life



Today I will go see Junior's garage if I can live there.


I went to Azad's church yesterday and didn't feel particularly welcome by Pastor Jeremy. He was nice but that's all. But he has been very supportive with teh whole cancer thing.

I called Dr. Ahmed SAturday and he said he would come if  I came. I went to see if he would come and he didn't.


I went to Azads house afterward and slept two hours in his guest room



Hazem is in Kentucky feeling lonely. I want to go stay with him a month before  i move in with Junionr. He wants me to help him with his book


I'm starting to see the daylight peeking through the blinds


I'm feeling a song coming on.

Shadi just left got his first call on Uber.


I'm studying one of my favorite subjects: Rachel and Leah in case  I get called to preach at Firefighters


I enjoy that

I've been good so far about being asked to leave. I believe it is because of the Four and possibly more "storm" messages God sent me. It was as if He undergirded me from the very start and then kept holding me thus keeping me from sinking into my petty self. I've been good and not snitty as I have a tendency to be in myself.
I feel like I did do things that are worthy of the sitaution I find myself in in regards to Shadi's mom. I was rude and angry. But all that aside, it's not because of my guilt (though it is a factor) but because God undergirded me that I have been so amiable about this situation.


Around 830 i went to sleep woke up aroun 12 with call from colonoscopy folks

Bryce said he would take me and Dwayne said he'd pick me up to take me home.


I made eggs with tomatoes -- not bad needs onions


supposed to go see Junior's place about 4. I went and liked it. it looks nice for 1,000 a month.

It looks like God is directing my steps. It came up just as  I needed it. And it is being finished not finished yet. nice kitchenette, bathroom, living room and bedroom.

not really rooms but nice space.

then I went and took Azad to Kohl's we spent time there then I came home. did a little work and slept a tiny bit.




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