Cancer Blog

been here for over a week. i wrote the book Behold the Man and no takers yet i am working on another book King of the Jews went to BHD last night. did my new song with the high pitch....seemed well received i bumped into a guy and spilled his wine as a i was getting out of the booth. i acted like nothing happened a total asshole attitude. i sat down for a while and knew i'd have a hard time sleeping. i went and bought a new glass of wine for him and he was very thankful. why am i an asshole. my new book It is 3:57 p.m. I am at Al Fady getting ready for my show which is about an Imam from Canada who said that telling Christians MErry Christmas is worst than murder. I have two videos..... Last night Ahmed and his wife came to Azad's house with their two grandkids. Azad is so loving and fun with them. He really is a great ministry of the Gospel he has been so kind to me while I've been at his house. I helped him with the NABaptist thing and he passed got a gre...

Had great program today about Bohayra. For the last few days I've been really studying up about Boohayra. I read the whole internet site about the "Christian Bahira Legend." And then I read a few other articles about it and watched a few of Father Z. programs about it. Good thing I did. I got a call on the program from Truth Seeker and he asked all the right questions of the things I studied. I was told he is a new convert from Islam. It was great. I thanked him for challenging me at the end. He said"I'm going to call you back and always challenge you." Rock 'n roll Karen called too but hung up becuase I took too long to answer. Amazing stuff I learned about Bohayra....

did about nothing but she looked at my reports and decided to just let me keep doing what i'm doing

Went Friday to UCI and did the final procedure with Dr. Lee both a Clonoscopy and another oscopy...one is to see in the colon and the other to see outside the colon around it. Everything was good Dr. Lee told me. Sabah took me to the hospital and Bryce brought me home to the Twin something hotel near the hospital. I spent two nights there. the second night the cielin g started dripping as it was raining hard. It was all night long. I fell asleep around 4 since I had slept all day from the powerful anesthesia they gave me. When I woke up I was still plastered from the anesthesia.... I bought Bryce lunch and myself at El Polo Loco. I ate watched Bewitched and I dream of Jeanie and fell asleep. deeply Woke up around four or five and stayed in bed till night time and then went and ate at the restaurant acorss the street. I walked for miles almost up to UCI but I turned around and walked back becuase Mom told me I should eat steak to celebrate. I could tell she was happy. I wanted to ...

when to Azad's chruch. was good message about Mark 1 I translated Azad's speech to conference. got messages from S. still hurting i'm so stupid. why did i do that? Father forgive me and heal Your son. d y feeling that little dot of depression. not happy. guilt. fear of myself. Father help me. Force feed me Your acceptance had a pretty good day. Went to Cottonwood. There was good message by Pastor Bayless I went to see Randy and Arri afterwards. Kato called me and told me of a job offer at teh Tustin branch of OC rescue mission. about 25 hours a week I said yes I was excited by it I should have said I would pray about it

I'm here at Azad's house. I read abou tLou Gram yesterday night. not sleeping until 4 or 5 a.m. Sabah came bh to tk s. called A. and told him about me a. called s. and told him he must forgive. He asked "Do we kick him out of the church?" "Do we throw him out of his work?" Went to Huntington Beach last night with Karen and Joy. Was fun spoke to several folks including Rashed and Khaym and Aymen and Mina.

I moved out today. As I did I stupidly slammed the door. I got a tone i don't want to give myself excuses. but Azad is so kind to me. But I haven't not given to him. I have given to him too and he said it today. I stood with him and helped him. I translated for him and drove him. I don't say this to give myself a pat on the back. I feel like I'm so bad that I need to accept any evidence that I'm not as bad as I have sometimes allowed myself to accept about myself. is there anything good in me. No. But Christ is in me. I don't always let Him show. But He's in me. even when I was going through the torment today with. S. I felt HIs peace enfold me. I went to Hope Chapel hoping the pastor was there. I want to be held and embraced. and consoled. I think maybe God is doing that through Azad when I got to the studion today Azad said "I will see you tonight. He welcomed me his anger towards me reminded me of r. anger towards me. it was ceaselsess it...

I was approved to go do follow up with Dr. Bui on Jan. 3. This is the to see the result of the biopsy from the colonoscopy. at 330 I think I'm supposed to see Dr. Lee for follow up procedure Jan. 11? Then on Jan. 24 I have to go see Dr. Melanchy about surgery. I go see dr. Pamela on teh 15th at 3 p.m. Thurs 5 Tom Doyle's friend 445 on Feb. 15 to Dr. Bui about UCI thing

went to Bogarts was great -- I did Jesus died 4 rockers 2 Day You came into my life too both well received whittle was there and so waas Feter Just moved all my stuff out to the car, barely fits. The last time  I did this was when I had to go the Holy Land for Dad and put all my stuff in the car the night before I had to leave and I left the car at Ed's house for I think five months. Yes five months. I came back and stayed with Shadi about a week or so and then his sister came. I went to a hotel for several days and found the place in Buena Park. Nice at first but then...... Oh well. I stayed there a while then moved in with Hani for a few months. At first was hard with his cousin. I felt like his sons didn't like me at first but that changed with time. Then I had to move on. I went to Skip Cristendon's house in Garden Grove. IT was nice set up. Shared bathroom but it was all Christian guys. It was nice. The kitchen was set up nice and everything with...