Cancer Blog

Went to Chruch last night was great and had dinner with Ed and Elaine at Fish and Chips place. was great today have to send my 1,000 check to CTEN get it postmarked so it will be eligible for 2018 taxes just went and sent the check to CTEN got it postmarked am going to Randys tonight for party...would have like to go to open mike but Karen also wanted me to go with her and Joy to witness in downtown H.B. BTW there was another message about storms yesterday at church.

getting ready to leave. I've packed some boxes and it doesn't look like it will take long to fill up my car and go. I have until tomorrow the 31st but I feel I should start today get the big stuff out except the mattress

I am sitting out on the sofa in Shadis house still i was called to Dr. Tehany's last night she wanted to support my ministry. Which comes at a great time as I'm having to move out. Junior called to say it would be a week or two weeks before the places is ready As I was at IRvine Spectrum last night I saw Kato and Nardene and Anna. It was so great. I went and saw the Mule. Not bad Was supposed to see Haz. he wanted to see me in a bar in Santa Monica. It was a bridge too far. I told Dr. Tehay of my cancer situation. She said she would like to go with me to Dr. Bui and thinks I should move to the UCI rather than all of these other doctors.. The UCI has been the best to be honest. BTW on the dr. front. I was approved to go do follow up with Dr. Bui on Jan. 3. This is the to see the result of the biopsy from the colonoscopy. I think I'm supposed to see Dr. Pamela Jan. 11? Then on Jan. 24 I have to go see Dr. Melanchy about surgery. And I have to go see Dr....

Went to church with Shadi and Pastor Khalil last night. Lydia Shadeed was singing leading worship. Then a preacher from Egypt I'm not sure who he was spoke. It was good kind of fire and brimestone sermon Lydia was very nice to me later. SAid "You come here." Pastor Khalil gave me 40 dollars. I'm not sure why. IT was ncie. He asked me to share my testimony in teh car.  I told him. Saw Magdi and Fibi and Bassaam Am home now looking for a new home. Thinking of clearing out my car to start moving stuff in saw Jason's food giveaway in Oaklahoma. feeling a bit useless in teh face of it may go to Andrews church tonight. they asked me once to be youth pastor there or another church he was at. I spent three days in PHoenix. Susu seemed mad at me or possibly just mad. She's at that age. they asked me to consider moving there so I could be around kids and stuff as I'm going thorugh these health issues. I talked with Najat who said dad was laughing....

I am here in Phoenix, AZ with the kids. Spent time with Nasri last night.  Was coughing real bad last night at 3 a.m. I went to Walmart to get niquil like things. today went with Musa to see Thahabiyeh am stressed about government. shutdown seems immenent lots of stuff Trump wil do in next few days are stressful pulling out of syria pulling half of soldiers out of afghanistan the government shutdown but on the other hand the public seems to be on his side

Monday I sent message about the translations didn't get response Tuesday I got response and check I rented a car to go see Nassri's kids Also got a call about making an appointment with another surgeon to remove the mass they found with my last colonoscopy I called the surgeon Nadir something but was told he is an oncologist and that they aer going to change it to a surgeon named Mashonti or somethign like that. I will get a call next week telling me the doctors name as there has to be reauthorization I went to Dr. Bui's office to find out if it is cancer. They said I have to wait until our appintment on Jan. 3. I called Dad. He sounded very bad. Teh phone rang like 20 times and he answered. I didn't udnrestand anything he said. It was all grunts. HE knew it was me my voice was also groggy from a cold I have. I went Monday night to Barnoa's and had pretty good time -- everyone really supportive. I did "Cups" and "Song of Simeon,"...

went to shades of africa. shywas there she did this poem which i think was aimed at me -- he doesn't want a woman who is like him, he wants one who waits for him alone and it will be someone closer to his own age and it won't be me it was sobering a little disappointing knowing she like me gave me some wind in my sails. i did two songs "Cups" and "Simeons Song" saturdays are getting harder. the loneliness the emptiness. I know the Lord is with me. I should be doing more. so much of what i do is because of my loneliness. Father help me. i can't seem to connect. one word shy used to describe the mystery guy in her poem was "detached" that's i suppose the oppostie of attached that hurt a little as it had a ring of truth in it i keep dong the same things expceting different results Went to New Vision there was a missionaryi there from Kosovo and Israel. I think I may have seen him before. Not sure. I invited Shy to the pl...

Did my show. There was just one call. It was about he prophecies about the birth of Jesus. Reda loved it. I used coins and a pail and told the Texas two feet of quarters story but made it just one feet and in Egypt. Then  I went to Gypsey Den and did two songs: Cups and Song of Simeon in Arabic. I think song of simeon has legs. Got great reaction to it. Went witnessing today with Tommy and crew. A Muslim girl who knew nothing about Islam was really abnoxious as we were talking to a  black guy who said he was Christian. She was so abnoxious to Tommy calling him Islamophobic etc. When I tried to talk she said "Im talking to him." lol It was still good. She said she never heard of a Muslim becoming a Christian. Tommy pointed to me am feeling low energy want to see A Star is Born but am tired. It start at 10:30 ended up not going. went to sleep woke up at 6 Saw Kato, Christine and Anna at Irvine Spectrum. It was great. they invited me for Christmas

Had pretty good weekend Sunday - I led worship for George's meeting. There were lots of folks there. Then I did the interviews with Steven (from Morocco) and George. It was great I told one joke that got great laugh: "They studied the top ways that Muslims come to the Lord. The Number one way Muslims get saved is by watching my program." Long sustained laughter. Then I shared about 356-438 Great night Shared testimony and Saturday I went to Dr. Rimon's with Azad. Then I went to meeting with Azad. Was good I played Bingo while half the group decorated Christmas cookies. I said names of things in Arabic. Then Dwayne shared about Christmas story. The wife of Dr. Ahmed said "That's two times God saved Jesus, from Herod and then when they tried to kill Him. I said what we believe. Then I got to tell her "ini mitawafeeka wa raf'ak ilaya," IT was well received I think. Karen sang with me and sent me  a video afterwards. Its Monday ...

I'm up and feeling good thank God. My pain is pretty much gone I ate the French Dip Dwayne bought me around 2 a.m. watching Judge Judy I've pretty much been up ever since. Laying down covered up but up. Had Cottage Cheese with fruit for breakfast. I was getting pissy about S. eating my food and using my milk. But then I thought it's an opportunity for me not to be as selfish as I am. It's not about him its about me. I could be more giving. I have that ability. Am drinking coffee right now. I paid another 150 for the Noble song. Am waiting to see if there's any nibbles on the line. Also I entered America's Got Talent on line. I sent the video Leader of the Band from Al Fady took letter from Dr. Bui to Dr. Solmoyer who I will see tomorrow. I think he said I need anotehr operation. The water is so bad on the streets  flooding. Very hard to drive. I am at Alfady now Hillarious day at my show: Before I started my subject Andy called and ...

I'm up at 4 a.m. couldn't sleep much I've started taking the stuff went and saw Dr. Bui a few weeks ago. He talked to me and said I was lucky there was no cancer. He then looked again at teh pictures and said the tumor was huge don't know what's going on. today we'll find out. i hope i'll get the pictures again because last time it was clear from teh pictures what the case was ------------------- There was a guy named Willie Schumaker in high school. He was a bully towards me. In the locker room as we were all getting dressed after our showers, he would snap me with his wet towels. I remember green bruises. It hurt so bad. He did it over and over again. Other's laughed I did too maybe to conceal my defenselessness. He was bigger and stronger than me. Much better looking with his blond hair and fully developed body. When I'd see him around school, he'd be with his ugly short fat girlfriend. He would be mean to me. I would just grovel...

I got up at 530 a.m. today as I have been getting up early everyday lately. Not so much discipline as sleeplessness and stress Went to Men's meeting yesterday. Shook hands with Gene. I think he's the leader the preacher was Pastor Tom. He is very happy preaching. Very annointed pro Hagin and it was really good  I sat at the table where he sat. And he talked and another guy talked and talked about his health. I shared about my recent scare Saturday I went to Mona's funeral. I sat by FAyez and his wife and sister, a few chairs between us. I saw Elaine and Ed sitting across the aisle. I later saw Pastor Rimon and his wife. They were very concerned for my health and supportive. I went to the burial and saw Pastor Emil. I also saw Joe and Azad and lots of folks. Very nice but some didn't seem particularly happy to see me. When I got back to car, I started feeling a little sick from hunger and standing around so much I went back to AlFady and slept for two hours...